Saturday, April 7, 2012

LEAKED: Monsanto Resumé

800 N Lindbergh BLVD
St. Louis, MO, 63141


  • To obtain a position allowing control of the food industry

Work-Related Skills

  • Hard worker e.g. avoided complaints and legal claims over pollution, PPCB contamination
  • Works well with others e.g. joint venture with IG Farbenthe: German chemical firm which supplied Zyklon-B during Holocaust
  • Excellent problem-solving skills e.g. paid $6 million to settle claims over entire community with ground and water contamination because of plant
  • Innovative thinker e.g. using techniques such as creating Terminator technology to force farmer dependence
  • Generous e.g. partially funding anti-organic Center for Global Food Issues
  • Excellent persuasion skills e.g. persuaded prestigious science journal to retract paper on contamination of indigenous maize, caused news station to cancel series on rbGH

Work History

  • 2004-Present: American Seeds Inc
    • Produced GMOs
    • Began monopolizing seed industry
    • Responsible for creating super weeds due to Roundup crops
    • Invented Terminator technology
    • Used animal testing
  • 1994: Hormone Pioneer
    • Developed dairy cow hormone: Posilac
  • 1962-1971: Herbicide Supplier
    • Supplied Agent Orange to U.S. military
    • Helped cause health problems such as cancer
  • 1939-1945: Manhattan Project
    • Collaborated with other agencies in creating nuclear bomb
  • 1920-1930: Chemical Manufacturing
    • Manufactured sulfuric acid, polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), and other chemicals
    • Caused reproductive, developmental and immune system disorders


  • U.S. Ambassadors
  • Bill Gates foundation
  • Mr. Rockefeller
  • BASF
  • Additional references furnished upon request

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